Friday, June 18, 2010

For fuck's sake, close your god damned mouth when you chew!

Why do some people have to smack so fucking loud while chewing?
Is this just some conspiracy to annoy the fuck out of me?
Everyday at 12, these Indian dudes pack into the lunchroom at work, and eat in a large group, and all you hear is constant smacking and chewing with open mouths. It's so fucking nauseating.
Sounds like a horse chewing moist hay, or a blow job being performed.
This dude at Wendy's today was chewing his gum so god damned loud, I wanted to Karate chop him in the esophagus.
This happens on the subway a lot too, people will decide to bring their food and eat it on the subway, then smack and chew and slurp for the next 40 minutes.
Please note, the subway is the last place I'd want to eat, it's so disgusting, if it doesn't smell like warm bum shit, it smells like sweaty passengers, or breath, or some other putrid odor that would not allow me to enjoy a decent meal.
Close your fucking mouths while eating and chewing, there is no excuse for this disgusting habit.

Don't get me started on people who blow their noses at the dinner table either, I'm looking at you assholes right there.

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