Friday, June 18, 2010

Today is unusual.

My wife made me breakfast today.

This is a rare occurrence.

This indicates that she wants to have sex with me, so she's trying to get on my good side.

Not just any sex, but the kind that requires cleaning up with household chemicals afterwards.

Funny thing is, breakfast is great and all, but I'm easy.

If you ever want to have sex with me, simply toss on some leather.

She knows this, but it is rather hot these days, so I'll forgive her.

And with kids going to sleep at around, whenever the fuck they want, it's quite difficult to get that dirty these days.

She's in for it.

I am planning on fracturing her pelvis and impaling her pancreas, fortunately, we have a wheelchair at home, so I can stab, a winner is me!

Let me not put anymore thought into this.

If I build it up too much, I might get too excited and ejaculate early, make a fool of myself, ruin the moment, and never get breakfast again.

Or leather.

And I can live without breakfast, fuck that shit, but oh lord, not the leather.

Not the leather…..


  1. Why the fuck did it space out so much? Shit, Maybe because I typed it in Outlook as to appear busy at work.
    Looks stupid.
    Fuck it.

  2. Yeah, fuck it. The important thing is that you got the thought out. The thought about leather. And breakfast. How's about her wearing leather while cooking breakfast? (That's how she used to do it for me. SNAP.)

  3. If you're going to continue to hurt my feelings, I will continue to send your wife dirty messages.