Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Drugs, Booze, Addiction (my response to "Dangit, relapse") and facts about drug dealers.


Aside from my own blog page, naturally,  I also frequent another blog page, belonging to my brother from another mother named Ish and his lovely lady Ms. Sassy (total addict...... to art!). They run a blog where they both make posts, but in separate forums of it and actually use it as an outlet for their own creative writings concerning myriad issues and thoughts, even commenting and advising on each others stories, rants and raves, but never impeding each others writings, which works out great because they're both fucking retarded.

He made a post the other day concerning some recent events in his life which have transpired due to the untimely and tragic death of an old flame. Not to put anyone's business out there, but she had some issues with alcohol and substance abuse which may have attributed to her death, if not outright causing it.

You can read that particular excerpt here at this link - http://www.wearepretendtious.com/2010/08/dangit-relapse.html -  which I urge you to do first, not only because it allows my post to make sense, but because Ish is a fantastic writer, with an Omega level mutant IQ (seriously, he's a registered genius), and it's very well written, and also hits home for anyone who's been through situations with loved ones who have been addicted to substances and abusing themselves in any way.

So below is my response to that specific post of his, which he was so impressed and touched by (I think) that he urged me to post it on my own site so that my millions, AND THE ROCK MEANS MILLIONS, of my fans can read.

To be honest, you could have just read his post on his page, and scrolled down and read mine in his comments, but I'm doing a real favor for you here, so eat it.

So here it is, my response to that silly Irishman's post:

I've never personally been addicted to any substance, hell, I barely drink girly drinks, and I can't even stand to be around anyone smoking, but as you well know, drugs and alcohol have been more a part of my life than I'd care to mention at this point, so while I do not physically understand the addiction fully, I totally understand it from the same point of view you're coming across.
I've watched my mom snort and sniff and get trashed only to get nailed by some random guy every few days.
I've seen my dad wasted more than I can count, and I've watched him stick a needle into his arm as he shooed me away as to not scar me for life.
It's always the people you care for the most that tend to do the most destruction to you.
With that said, I will agree with you 100 percent on the kind of help required to kick the demons out of you.
Any asshole who thinks someone who is addicted is only addicted because they're weak is sorely mistaken.
There's so much more to it, and only someone who's REALLY "been there" and has for the most part fully recovered and now offers professional help can understand the possession of your soul that takes place in these situations.
Perfect example, my mom tried to stop on her own, she does OK , but she still drinks and abuses meds every now and then, my dad, he recovered via a substance abuse program run by people who've done it all.
He relapsed once after an injury, and began using pain meds and then started having a drink here and there, then kicked the habit after that, with Pro counseling and maintained a clean life, until he passed away.

So you know the deal my brother, anyone who doesn't heed your experienced advice is just in for a world of trouble.
It's best to join something like AA, or similar programs, surrounded by positive kindred spirits who know exactly what you're saying and going through.
There's no shame in going some place to try and better yourself, the only shame is in doing nothing at all.

I am sorry for what you had to go through, but you're a solid, strong dude, and these are the journeys guys like us always embark upon because we know we can use our strength to help others.
But like any hero, we can't save them all and casualties will be met, hearts will be broken, lives will be lost, this is the way it is.
That's why we run websites where we can tell the world , warn people, inform people, and just cheer people up, because guys like us , we've seen some shit in our time and while we may not have always been in the pilot's seat at times, we definitely were the motherfucking copilots during those voyages.

One quick relevant story before I close for anyone currently addicted to anything out there.
I remember going to a meeting with my dad where he was a guest speaker (something like AA, but more of a mixed bag) showing up as someone who beat the evils of being addicted to both drugs and alcohol and now had something to show for it for a group of people who were like him a few years prior that were losing hope and were about to give up.
My dad showed up and explained to them what a little hard work and effort can do. I mean, shit, he bragged a bit about his brand new car and newly installed pool in the back of his long Island home that he got from working at his well paying government job, haha, but damn it, he deserved to!
Anyway, in that room, you see all of these people that you'd normally pass off as junkies and bums and losers, but these guys were from all walks of life, white, black, Latin.
Some were drivers, construction workers, businessmen, people who weren't just on the streets using anymore, people really trying to move forward in life.
They had asked me to speak from the point of view of a person who watched his dad rise and fall and re-rise, and I remember this one older white guy, looked like the kind of white dude who works with his hands for a living, big guy, raspy voice, one you can tell was created by smoking damage to his throat over the years, gentle natured fellow, and he talked about how his old lady gives him shit, and his kids are losing more and more love for him because he goes to visit, but they smell the booze on him, they see him all messed up, etc and he asked me something along the lines of "how can they love me again?" then I stood up and said "love your kids".
Everyone just began staring at me with wide eyes.
I told them to love their kids, always, and let them know that you love them, all the time, but make sure you take care of yourself at the same time , meaning, regardless of the addiction, always show your kids that dad (or mom) is working hard to recover to be a part of their lives, but also to make sure he can fully function in society and provide for you as a father should, but you need not impose on them while you're not able bodied, just be consistent in telling them how much you love them and your progress in putting the pieces of all of your lives back together for good.
Seeing that I wasn't bullshitting, the man had tears in his eyes, put his arm on me and said "thanks".
I just hope whoever has a problem that they're going through, reads this and feels the same effect as that man, because it would mean the world to me and to my buddy Ish, I'm sure.


In closing, I would like to point out that technically, there is no such thing as a drug dealer.
Drug dealers are more like drug "offerers", they don't DEAL in the sense that no deal is actually made.
They offer you a price point and a product and you either pay it or don't, or get punched in the face for bitching about it.
The economics behind it are fucking terrible, and it functions almost worse than a monopoly does.
People sell drugs, but they really don't, drugs sort of sell themselves, and sell themselves well.
Most drug dealers are shitty salesmen, they're usually pretty mean to their best customers and are often inconvenient for most people to buy from.
Do I really have to drive across town , in the rain, climb fourteen flights of steps in a dangerous building just to buy a vial of crack?
Fuck me.
See what I mean?
No deals being made here, drug offerers fucking suck.If the better Business Bureau could manage these fuckers, they'd be in so much shit, it's not even measurable.

On another note, they are also portrayed as very evil people by the media, usually as murderers or serious villains.
That is so untrue.
Most people who sell drugs are generally easy going and lazy, often times, they're not really so tough.
I've never seen a person who sells drugs hurt anyone or kill anyone, nor have I seen one transform into a cobra like that old PSA showed us in the 80's.
They don't tell you to try drugs or chase you down with a knife to threaten your life until you do, they just wait somewhere, usually in their own homes, and sell to people who come at their own leisure.
The facts behind these fuckers are such bullshit it's astounding.
Come to me for the truth, god damn it.


  1. That really is the misconception: drug dealers are shady, let's blame them for our loved one being fucked up...nah man, it ain't the case. Other than a case of the paranoids and the stupids, which people who sample too much of their own shit start getting, dealers are these regular fucking people who are just trying to make money the best way they can. Since they are likely users (it's pretty rare to find a totally clean dealer), it's really more of what they know best, not something they aspire to "be." There's no glamor in dealing drugs.

    But the people buying are absolutely still responsible. Look, it would feel great to the memory of someone I once loved if I could blame her meth dealer, or the liquor store where she bought her booze, but SHE CHOSE TO USE THAT SHIT.

    She's gone, a lot too prematurely if you ask her mom and her son. It's a fucking shame. But blaming someone else doesn't bring our loved ones back: recognizing that they had a disease and couldn't beat it helps some. The real people underneath the addicts are good folk like you and me, but they get real lost in the disease.

    Groups, programs, just what-the-fuck-ever: get help people, get professional help. Don't take it out on people like me, or even Bronx to some extent, people who aren't addicts and can't understand.

  2. Yeah, the dealers are just working stiffs, most of them really don't make much bank unless they become the suppliers as well.
    Either way, blaming the dealer is dumb, they never force drugs into you, they just simply allow a means to obtain the damned things.
    People need to own up and round up some dignity before placing the blame on others when it comes to addiction, but it's not easy when you're body and mind aren't exactly yours at the time.
    We should become junkie coaches.
    We yell and beat the shit out of you and we accept medicare or you can pay us with random belongings.
    how about it?

  3. before i read this, aunt linda told me about that day at the meeting you went to with your father. i wish i could have been there too. although i was young i knew what your father was into and how he got better. i didn't really look at him in the sense of a junkie but a man who overcame a mountain in his life. I remember he took me to his church out there in long island and all i could think was damn i don't want to be here but you could see the look on his face and how it played a big role for him in his recovery. So i sat next to him singing and clapping because i knew he needed it. He was never weak because of his addictions he was strong because he overcame them, made up with you and was a better man to the end. not a day goes by that i don't think about him, wishing time would go back just to be there in church with him again.